we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
