I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
