She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
