I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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