i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
