I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The beers last night were like the tears from god
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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