Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize