I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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