her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
