He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
