I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
