I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
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