its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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