he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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