Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
