I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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