I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
