I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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