My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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