it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
