my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
