If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We're hate flirting, damnit.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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