i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We have so much sex to catch up on
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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