i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
