I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
