yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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