I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize