JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize