Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
