matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My brain says no but my pants say off.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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