she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We left an ass print on the piano.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
