So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize