Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
