I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
