Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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