i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
