His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
