It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
