god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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