Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize