The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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