I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
