Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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