You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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