I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sorry about my life...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
