I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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