I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
