Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
