O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
