guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
