I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
