i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
