After last night, I could never be a politician.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
