Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
