You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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