yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
