with your own penis?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
