i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My feet surprised me
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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