sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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