OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
