I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
