We need to rekindle our bromance
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
