I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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