Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
