i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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